My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
