so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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