I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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