im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
