its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
