he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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