Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
