The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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