Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
