I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
