I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
