Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
