We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
