I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
