All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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