I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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