he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
