no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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