Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
