I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
