You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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