Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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