And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
