Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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