the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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