yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
