Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
