fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
