DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
