Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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