problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
