They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
organizing the empties. That sober.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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