i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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