Please don't use social media to get back at me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize