Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
