Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
