She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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