Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
