put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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