Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
