we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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