Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
