we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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