he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You're like the curious george of whores
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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