JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
