I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
