He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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