whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
