bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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