So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
