Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
