i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
