I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
