Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I checked into jail on foursquare
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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