That's intense
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
