her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
